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Friday, September 3, 2010

Dear Sharpie

When I had seen the liquid pencil about a month ago I was breathless. You see when I draw, my hands are always tensing up and breaking led when I'm trying to make a stencil. I thought that Sharpies Liquid Pencil was the relaxing answer to all my problems. I was so thrilled. Excited and enthusiastic about it, I stopped at 20 different stores in search of my long lost item. No store had stock? That's fucking bogus... Why wouldn't one of these stores carry this amazing creation?
My search was getting old and finally, like always, if i cant find something I go to amazon.com. Last week I ordered a box of 12 pencils. I received them on Wednesday. I encouragingly ripped that package open in 10 seconds making it snappy. Overly spirited, I reach in the box quickly grabbed a pencil out and threw the box to the side... "Its me, the liquid pencil, and the paper now." I'm ready for pure bliss.

I take a deep breath in and then energetically lower the pencil-like-ballpoint to the paper. I glide my hand forward then backwards, make some swirls and then I write my name.

WHAT THE FUCK.

This inconsistent piece of shit pencil is not what I thought it was to be. Ok... trying not to be hasty I thought I would give it a chance all day, you know, maybe I just have to break it in a little. Every three minutes, disturbingly bothered I throw this pencil down watching it with hate in my eyes hit the table. I look over at my Boss as he has a grin on his face with a following chuckle. I'm Inflamed and infuriated but my hope for this pencil keeps me feeding the fire.

Yesterday, I thought I would give one more chance. Sharpie deserves one more... So I start making my stencil, get 20 seconds into it and forcefully throw the pencil down again. Looking to the left I see my Boss is still laughing.

I'm irritated with Sharpie.

I bought this box for 25 bones and not one dollar was worth it. Unlighted and annoyed, I look up reviews this morning. I should of did my research and watched this video before hand.


If you click on this video you can go to the site which has a list of all the disturbing issues of this pencil.
Today at work, I am going to stick to what I usually use and try to sell these damaged pencils that cause so much distress to Joey.

5 comments:

  1. if you draw right on the stencil paper, it will work. Not as a pencil though... Do your research!

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  2. Return them to Amazon!

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  3. yes the thermofax picks it up which is great.. but all in all i am very unhappy with my purchase. I do love sharpie fine tips tho :)

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  4. http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/how-to-stop-swearing/1ioazn2ni?rs=Etiquette&from=en-us_msnhp&gt1=42007

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  5. Are you sleep-tattooing?

    I was gonna come check out the action but I was working too late.

    ReplyDelete